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Cor, Korea

It would be fair to say that the Korean Grand Prix was... slippery. Even before it was wet.

A bit like the model train sequence in Wallace & Grommit, where Grommit is furiously laying the track ahead of the train, the circuit seemed to still be going up as everyone arrived, but the only real problem this presented was the nice, new, slippery tarmac.

Qualifying went pretty much according to plan for the Big 5, with the exception of Button, who seemed strangely off the pace and unable to get heat into his tyres. His weekend (and title defence) was about to get a whole lot worse than a lowly 7th on the grid, too. Rosberg & Massa were 5th and 6th, with Vettel, Webber, Alonso and Hamilton at the sharp end.

The moment Jake Humphrey walked out of the McLaren garage on to the track at the start of the BBC's coverage and you could see it was wet, it was obvious we were in for fun and games. And that's what we got. With Red Bull able to win the Constructor's Championship at this race and both their cars up front, it was all looking good. Right? No....?

As the track was so soggy and the cars slippering around (Honestly, that's what JH said), the start was delayed by 10 minutes. We then got 3 laps behind the Safety Car before the race was stopped. Nearly an hour passed before racing resumed and once again the Safety Car was the leader. For ages. Hamilton kept things entertaining by repeatedly telling his McLaren team that the track was fine, whilst everyone else was telling theirs it was still terrifying. Finally, on lap 18 things got going.

Not for long though. Two laps later Webbo went a little too far up a kerb and spun, before the kind of accident you have when steering a canal boat - you know its going to happen, there's sod all you can do about it, but it takes ages to actually occur. Unfortunately for Princess Nico, he ran out of places to go and crashed into the still crashing (and probably not best chuffed) Championship leader. Guess what? Safety Car.

12 laps later Buemi crashed into Glock and The Safety Car was out yet again.

The track was drying slightly, but not enough to warrant anything other than Inters at best, and tyre wear was becoming a big issue for some of the drivers. Alonso and Hamilton tried to get the jump on each other by pitting at the same time, with Eyebrows losing out to the earringed one after a wheelnut decided it was too soggy and nipped off to find a dry spot in the garage. It didn't matter though - Lewis then went wide at a corner and Fernando was back up to 2nd.  So it was back to the Vettel, Alonso, Hamilton trio up-front, with Button drifting out of the top 10 in a championship-wreckingly poor race for him.

Petrov crashed out in spectacular style... well I say spectacular, I think it was. I'll explain why in a bit. Martin Brundle gets a special award for saying that he thought Vettel would come on the radio to point out that it was now getting dark (in an attempt to get the race stopped whilst leading) and barely a minute later he did. The dark wasn't his problem though - with just a handful of laps left, his engine let go.

So Alonso took the lead and hung on until the end as Hamilton faded. The action wasn't over though - Sutil seemed intent on attacking Saubers anywhere he could and walloped Kobayashi, ending his race but, remarkably, not Kamui's. As everyone's tyres seemed to be getting, er... tired and the light really started to go, an F1 marathon of epic proportions finally finished with Alonso 1st, Hamilton 2nd, Massa 3rd and Schumacher (who reignited old memories of his Rain Master tag) 4th, followed bu Kubica (who tried to leave the pits with the lollipop man trying to hold him back with his pole), Liuzzi, Barrichello, Kobayashi, Heidfeld and Hulkenberg rounding out the points finishers.

Decisive stuff for the championship then. Whilst Button could still mathematically do it, it seems highly unlikely. And then there were 4....

I had a small problem with my viewing of the GP. Being a lazy git, I recorded the live broadcast, and with the wonders of my HDD recorder, started watching whilst it was still on when I got up. Unfortunately, whilst I has wisely added an hour to the scheduled finish time, I didn't bank on the Beeb switching to BBC2 before the end of the race.

No problemo, I thought. I recorded the Red Button coverage so I could watch the F1 Forum too. They probably had the race on there. They did.... the Driver Tracker. With the race in a teensy box in one corner. On my teensy TV. Now, I COULD have waited for the repeat, but I would have had to stay in for most of the afternoon too, avoiding the radio and news. And I really wanted a cappuccino. So I listened to the commentary, squinted at the teensy box, and did the best I could. Then went for an extra large frothy coffee.

Thanks BBC. Lesson learnt. I'll get up next time....

(Choons tonight courtesy of George Harrison's 1975 LP "Extra Texture - Read All About It".)

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