Chirpy chirpy tweet tweet

Evenin' all.

If you cast you peepers a little to the right.. bit more.... bit more than that... there you go. Yes, I have (as previously mentioned) joined Twitter. Thought I might as well get some useful information from people who, er, twit and hear it first hand, from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Or bird's, er, beak. Confusing this, isn't it? Rest assured, I'll still be posting pointlessly long, meandering, things that seem to take an eternity to reach a conclusion, so much so that you (and, in fact, I) have forgotten what they were about by the time we get there, that...

Erm. What was I saying?

Oh, yeah. Anyway, if it's short I'll twat it, if it's longer or I need a REALLY GOOD RANT, it will still be here.

If you're a twot also, let me know your, er.. (really should have looked into this before I started) handle(?) and if you follow anything you think I should be following also (baaaaaaaaaa!), let me know. I did get a follower after just 10 minutes, but she was offering me a free iphone, so I got rid of her. Hang on... do you think it might have been real?

(Choon at the mo: Freak Power "Turn On, Tune In, Cop Out". Remember that one? 95ish?)

Comments

Faking it for real

As Donald “I’m really great, everybody says so” Trump is so fond of pointing out, there is a lot of fake news around nowadays. Honest. Your friends at Facebook think so too, and have recently been publishing their top tips for spotting false news – by placing them as ads in newspapers. Considering they came in for considerable criticism themselves, that’s like shouting “Squirrel!” and pointing at a tree whilst you hastily kick away the prize begonias you just trampled. To help you make sense of this (and because I’m a caring person), I thought I’d run you through their suggestions and help to explain them for you. I know. I’m lovely. 1. Be sceptical of headlines READING THIS ARTICLE WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE!!! And explain that catchy headlines, or stuff all in capitals might be a bit iffy. 2. Look closely at the URL You can find out more about this at www.wowyouregullible.com if you want to understand how phony web addresses are a sure sign of dodgyness. 3. Investigate...

A very modern malady

Hello. I’m Doctor Grenville, and I’m here today to talk to you about SSS – or “Sad Selfie Syndrome”, to give it it’s full medical name. I’m a fully qualified medical doctor thing – I’ve got a PhD from Queens University Academy College Kendal (or “QUACK” for short) to prove it. That means it’s OK for me to talk to you about a very sensitive subject today and stroke your knee. Soothing, no? In my many years of medicinalising practice, I’ve come across some terrible afflictions. I’ve seen Achey Breaky Heart, Kneesles (where you get an itchy rash on your kneecaps) and even a very rare case of the Mercedes Benz. But recently I started seeing shocking images, on social media, graphically showing the devastating results of SSS. If you haven’t heard of it before, you’ve almost certainly seen pictures of what happens to the victims, who are mostly under the age of 30. We’ve already come to understand the irrational, overwhelming need for some amongst this group to photograph everythin...

Fantasy Formula 1 - Hungary Results

Sometimes there's a wonderful "huh?" moment in F1. Today's was when the lights didn't go to red at the start, but flashed green and yellow. I'm sure all the drivers are briefed, and everyone knows the drill, but they all just sat there - no-one wanted to be the first to move. In the most high-tech sport in the world, it took Charlie Whiting waving at them to make them go. To be honest, it wasn't the most thrilling of races, but Happy Hamilton "The slow boys won't get out of my way! It's not fair! Boohoohooo - I'm telling Charlie!" winning does mean the front end of the points table still looks deliciously tight. What we really need now, as the excitement level ramps up, is.... to take 5 weeks off. Dammit. Still, to keep you occupied, I want you to memorise the points you all scored today. It's easy to remember mine. I came last... RACE RESULT Position Name Point...

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