Are you still writing that... what was it again? A blog?

Great gosh almighty - I've been a newspaper columnist for five years.

Shut. The. Door. It's five whole, actual, year type things since my first outing sullied the pages of the North West Evening Mail, preceded by the "Finalist becomes columnist" piece you see here (exceptionally poorly scanned - I was obviously over-excited and/or over-caffeinated). I'm not actually that colour, honest.

A rambling, nonsensical brain-dump of weirdness, it's interesting how, in those early days, I was already writing in exactly the same way I have continued.

Strangely, column number 255 appeared on their website today (a day ahead of the print edition) which is a nice, unintentional, anniversary marker. Spoiler alert: It's about our fridge-freezer breaking down. I know - cutting-edge, hyper-topical, journalism, eh?

On a less celebratory note, visits to this blog (where it all began, of course) reached a low point in April not seen since November 2010. I guess I need to write something about a popular TV show/film again... I've got an idea...

Thanks to everyone who has supported me over the years, even the ones who can't remember what it is I do. But especially to the ever-lovely Mrs G. She has to read this stuff first, and I know if I've done well by the amount she laughs. Until I realise I've left my flies undone again.

Paranoia leads me to to think that I'll be dropped at some point, when the paper finally realises they've made a terrible mistake, but if I wasn't doing this I'd be ranting on a street corner, or shouting random stuff about wind chimes and Audi drivers in a park. And no-one wants that. So they're helping to keep the public safe, really.

Your tolerance for the last 1800 days or so is greatly appreciated.

(CD A-Z: Mike Oldfield's 2003 re-recording of "Tubular Bells". Cavemen!)

Comments

Malaysian Grand Prix - Vettel hot, but not bothered

Malaysia. It's always hot, and it always rains. Except the 2nd part is no longer true (unless you count the drizzly bit around lap 14). Saturday's qualifying session had highlighted the fact that Red Bull and McLaren seemed well matched on pace, but also that Ferrari were struggling. Whilst Vettel bagged another pole, followed by Hamilton, Webber and Button, Alonso was only 5th, and Massa 7th, with Nick Heidfeld an excellent 6th on the grid between the two red cars. At this point, I would like to break momentarily for a small rant: How many times do I have to say Heidfeld is good? Why wasn't he given a top drive years ago? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! ARE YOU BLIND!!!?? Ahem. The Hispanias somehow managed to a) turn up b) remember to bring cars c) get both of them on the track d) actually get both of them within 107%. Pretty remarkable really. Oh, and it didn't rain. Race day looked a more likely candidate for a drop of the wet stuff. The start was exciting, with

I know I'll regret this...

For @Feisty_Onion @BroughtonLass @LizWestmorland Me... before the grumpiness set in. Have a great weekend.

Senna bags Willy drive?

The great thing about F1 rumours is that they change every 5 minutes. Just last week it was looking like Barrichello might be back in at Williams, as new engines, tech staff and a general reshuffle would mean they needed someone who actually knew what they were doing in an F1 car. Which rules out Maldonado, obviously. Now it looks like Senna might be about to get a seat with the team where his Uncle lost his life. I'm sure Bruno's mum must be delighted. I don't hold with all this superstitious mumbo-jumbo though, and with the extraordinary level of safety in modern F1 cars, Bruno should be pretty safe. There is one significant problem with Williams signing him though - and this is going to be a bit unpopular I suspect - Bruno isn't very good. Yes, he put in a couple of reasonable performances with Renault, but Nick Heidfeld (ah... Nick and his lovely beard...) would have been able to do likewise, has he not been dropped. And then they dropped Senna too. Thi

grumpyf1

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