grumpyf1

Some things in life make no sense. Having the heating on and opening a window, for example. Diet versions of drinks, when you’re having a burger and fries. Fearne Cotton’s career success. And that most heinous of things – the Juliet Balcony. I suspect you’re thinking to yourselves, “What has that scruffy oik got against Juliet Balconies? They look nice, let lots of light in, and make a modern property look smart and appealing”. Begrudgingly, I agree with you on these points, but only because I like your shirt. However, I feel I should counter this with some points that haven’t been covered by the above, purely aesthetic, considerations. Who thought we needed a door upstairs? True, in days of yore, these were required so that goods could be winched into the upper areas of buildings, but then we invented stairs, and later lifts – we’re really quite clever like that. Having managed pretty well for thousands of years with boring old windows, we now seem to have an overwhelmin...

Yeee-ha! That was fun, wasn't it? Not sure about the hats, though. And now there's just the one left to go. Whilst rumours about HRT being sold/shut down start to circulate (again), and the weather forecast for Sao Paolo has the word "APOCALYPSE" written across the map, it's sad to think the the season is nearly over. Who do you think will win? That cheeky, sweary, German chappy with the priapic finger? Or that red-clad swarthy fellow with the tame caterpillars above his eyes, and a classy way of saying "Ham-meal-ton" when he's talking about Lewis? We'll know soon... Naughty corner: Wow – it was all fairly good-natured, wasn’t it? I’m therefore going for the BBC, for not showing the race live and me having to wait until 10.30 to watch it. Well past my bedtime. Hero: Reluctantly, but fairly, I’m saying Lewis this time. He drove brilliantly, and actually seemed quite cheerful afterwards. He hardly grumbled on the radio either. Fantas...

Seeing as he was challenging for his third title at this race, it’s actually quite startling to realise that Vettel was only competing in his 100th GP. Yes, we’ve become that used to the pointy finger and innate winningness of Das Sebulator, it’s easy to forget he’s still only 25 years old. With the championship in his grasp (and Red Bull set to bag the Constructors crown to boot), the first visit to the new US GP circuit in Texas seemed quite likely to deliver Seb his third title with a race to spare. The circuit was great, the weather fantastic, enthusiastic fans packed the stands and a nutter in a helicopter seemed to be intent on skimming the tops of the cars like a deranged seagull, all in the name of getting a good camera angle. Unfortunately for Button, his screen time was somewhat limited as he dropped out in Q2 on Saturday, whilst Grosjean’s excellent P4 was diminished by a five place drop for a gearbox change. Whilst Seb bagged pole, Hamilton was next up with We...

Texas. I believe they had some instruments there once. Not only was the circuit great, the weather fab, the hats big and the helicopter pilot with a camera on board a complete nutter, it also provided a great race in front of enthusiastic fans. Considering that a clearly dominant Vettel looked like he was going to grab the title from a floundering Alonso with a race to spare, for 'Nando to come away with only a 3 point increase in the gap to Das Sebulator was pretty amazing. Happily, it means we all get to hog the sofa next Sunday tea-time as it goes to the last race in Brazil. Add in that some smiley bloke who looks a lot like Hamilton won the race (it can't be Lewis can it? He wasn't scowling.), and it was a really rather splendid weekend all round... apart from having to stay up until gone midnight to watch the edited coverage on the BBC. Anyway, you'll be wanting to know who scored what, won't you? Righty-ho...   RACE RESULT   ...