Pie in the sky

Is it a bird? Is a plane? It's WHAT?!

The 80’s pop smash by one-hit wonders The Weather Girls suggested that, at approximately half past ten, it would be raining men.

I’m no scientist, but that sounds potentially quite dangerous. If you’re somewhere in the vicinity of Lincoln, you should consider some kind of protective headwear. Fortunately, male precipitation isn’t likely, but there is the off-chance you could encounter a light shower of Bakewell pudding.

The delicious desert has gone AWOL after being launched spaceward by pupils from a Derbyshire School. Attached to a high altitude balloon, the fundraising flight was aiming for a giddy 114,000ft, but comms went flaky at just under half that altitude, and contact was lost. Maybe the transmission was jammed.

Whilst alien abduction can’t be ruled out, I’d imagine our little green friends are still too busy puzzling as to why tech multi-millionaire Elon Musk has started firing his used Tesla cars at them.

The school pupils, from S. Anselm’s school, had achieved a creditable £1,600 for the Guide Dogs for the Blind charity, through sponsorship for their attempt to boldly send a Bakewell where no sweet, pastry-based, product that works well with custard has gone before.

Of course, the jammy astronaut is just the latest in a long line of stuff that has headed for the edge of space and beyond. Its trailblazing predecessors include a meat and potato pie, a cuddly toy, Buzz Aldrin, the ashes of Scotty from Star Trek, and a dog called Laika.

Whilst clearly disappointed at the loss of their Bakewell pud (and who wouldn’t be?), the school are hoping that contact details on the balloon will allow anyone finding it to get in touch and update them as to where it has landed.

Clearly, a sweet treat falling from the sky faces a notable risk of serious damage, but let’s hope the pupils aren’t reunited with a small, battered, empty foil dish. There has to be a crumb of hope that the almondy delight makes it back intact.

Imagine the kind of damage that could be done to your psyche if you were hankering for a sweet treat, and one just fell out of the sky in front of you. Maybe that’s what happened with the Weather Girls. It would explain why we never heard from them again.

(If you’ve been affected by this story, please call your local bakery for support. Get me a doughnut whilst you’re at it. Ta.)

This post first appeared as my "A wry look at the week" column, in The Mail, on Friday the 22nd of June, 2018. The title was augmented with "Fundraising flight was..." in print.

Nice story. Certainly substantially less pointless and environmentally reprehensible than Mr Musk's effort...

(CD A-Z: A homemade compilation, currently playing some Boomtown Rats...)