Skip to main content

F1 on the fast track to failure

2 races to go, and Lewis Hamilton might be about to become Formula 1 World Champion!

All good in F1-land then, right? Er... no.

As the teams and drivers prepare for this weekend’s Grand Prix in Brazil, the championship is finely balanced. British hero Lewis Hamilton knows the title can’t be decided at this penultimate race, but will go down to the wire in Abu Dhabi.

A great result against his arch-rival Nico Rosberg this Sunday would, in any other year, guarantee his name being added for a second time to the list of World Champions. Unfortunately, someone thought it would be a good idea to award double points in the last race, so he’ll have to hang on for an extra couple of weeks.

We should celebrate this – he’s a genuine star, and has even broken Nigel Mansell’s total of race wins to become the most successful British driver ever (even without the aid of a moustache the sporting regulations should probably have deemed “a moveable aerodynamic device”).

But other events in the F1 circus are busily casting an expensive shadow over this achievement. The terrible accident involving driver Jules Bianchi a month ago at the Japanese race left the popular French racer in a critical condition in hospital, after colliding with a massive recovery vehicle attempting to retrieve another car.

Since then two teams, Caterham and Marussia (the team Bianchi drove for) have gone into administration, leaving 18 cars to compete in the last round in America.

Alarmingly, three more teams seem to be struggling to survive, raising the possibility that F1 2015-style might involve me being allowed to race in my Mitsubishi Colt, to make up the numbers.

The sport’s supremo, diminutive 84 year-old Bernie Ecclestone, has hinted that the remaining teams could run three cars each – at least, I think that’s what he meant; interpreting what “The Bolt” says is a bit like listening to a cross between Yoda and a record being played backwards.

Shrouded in secrecy, the current arrangement for the distribution of wealth in F1 sees the top teams receive a very big slice of the pie, whilst the smaller set-ups get a fraction of that. To make it worse, a sizeable chunk of the dosh handed over to the big boys is merely for showing up, and not even performance related.

The smaller teams are struggling to survive, and the big ones don’t want to give up any of their disproportionate share of the proceeds.

Even Bernie says he can’t think of a way out of the situation, although he has managed to sell the sport several times over but still say stay in charge, so I think it’s fair to say he’s possibly got something up his expensively-tailored sleeve.

Good luck, Lewis. Let’s hope you’re not on the front row next year, with me on the back row immediately behind you.

I’m ironing my flameproof underpants, just in case.

This post first appeared as my "Thank grumpy it's Friday" column, in the North West Evening Mail, on the 7th of November 2014. You can view the edited version used by the paper on their website here - some minor trims occurred and the Bernie/Yoda segment vanished.

Already slightly out of date when it was published (Marussia had been confirmed to have ceased to exist by the time ink got applied to some nice clean paper), it's even more out of date now, with Caterham attempting to crowd-fund their way to the final race.

Apologies for the lateness of posting this - I arrived back home this afternoon after heading down South last Saturday, in a train journey that spiralled into an epic 8 hour marathon involving chance meetings, a car journey to Preston, and more frayed nerves than I thought I actually had in my body.

Ooo - maybe there's a newspaper column in that...

(Pleasant orchestral tuneage tonight courtesy of the music from Doctor Who episodes "The Snowmen" and "The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe".)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Schaf Shuffle

The weather – source of endless fascination, conversation, irritation and (just recently) excess irrigation. And a fidgety weather presenter on the BBC... I’m endlessly fascinated with the weather, and will confess to making sure I catch the BBC’s updates whenever possible. Not the local ones, where half the presenters look like they got dressed in the dark, or ITV, where they seem to know very little about actual weather, but the national forecasts. Delivered by actual Met Office personnel, their job entails a tricky mix of waving your hands about a bit, explaining about warm fronts without smirking, and trying not to look too pleased whilst mentioning gales force winds and torrential rain. Or stand in front of Cornwall. Each has their own presenting style, but there is one who intrigues me above all the others. Step forward, Tomasz Schafernaker, the 37 year old man from the Met who breezed onto our screens in 2001, as the youngest male ever to point out that it was going to r...

Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

RIP Jenwis Hamilbutton

We are gathered here in this... (looks round a bit) um... blog, to mourn the passing of Jenwis Hamilbutton. His life may have been short and largely irrelevant, but he touched the lives of so many people that... sorry? Oh. Apparently that was someone else... Jenwis Hamilbutton rose briefly to fame on twitter during 2010, when he was retweeted by BBC F1 presenter Jake Humphrey, having criticised his shirt. A similarly unspectacular claim to fame occurred when a tweet he crafted at 1am on a windy night appeared in F1 Racing magazine. An amalgam of bits of Formula 1 drivers Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button (mostly the hopeless bits), he came into existence via 3 pints of cider, a Creme Egg and the Electric Light Orchestra’s mournful 1986 farewell album “Balance Of Power”, played loudly over headphones. In his short existence, he was followed on twitter by Paul Hardcastle of “19” fame, and a bunch of slightly odd but jolly nice people, whom he was never entirely sure actually exist...