grumpyf1

New track, exciting layout, great corners, dusty - on paper, the shiny new Indian GP should have been a belter. Initial jitters and teething problems (multiple power failures, commentary boxes with no windows, dog caused red flagging of FP1) happily melted away in the 30C sunshine, but at least one thing was constant - Hamilton was in trouble with the F1 fuzz yet again, failing to slow down while yellow flags were being enthusiastically waved during practice, netting him a 3 place grid penalty, along with Perez. For Lewis, 2nd in quali became 5th on the grid, leaving a Red Bull lockout at the front, with Seb on pole again, followed by Webber, Alonso and Button. Vettel scampered off at the start - that's all you really need to know about his race, as no-one got ahead of him for the duration. Jenson tried hard (as usual), but never got the gap down enough to mount a challenge. Jenson passed Webber after the first few corners, whilst multiple shunts occurred down the cheaper ...

So is that it, then? Is Lewis definitely off Felipe's Christmas Card list now? Looked like a promising race, but in the end it seemed to encapsulate the season so far: Easy stroll for Seb, Jenson good, Alonso and Webber thereabouts, Hamilton and Massa swapping bodywork and insults. Ah well. You'll be pleased to hear that, as far as FF1 goes, I'm still in free fall. At the rate I'm descending, expect a particularly loud 'thud' as I hit the bottom. Here's the results then... And just so you can laugh at me, here are the running totals too... Bah. And is it too early for "humbug"? (Angst of FF1 being eased by Joan Armatrading's "Love And Affection: Classics (1975-1983)".)

Two F1 weekends in a row. Mmmmmm.... Sadly, for us skint BBC viewers who can't afford to get a dustbin lid nailed to the side of their home, that's almost certainly the last time it'll ever happen, in terms of the full, live, coverage at least. If the Beeb only show half the races live next year, I doubt they'll show consecutive ones only a week apart. Permission to say arsebiscuits? ARSEBISCUITS! Anyway, on with the show! Here's the driver and team stats for you. Naughty corner? Petrov. He came from so far back in that attempt to pass Schumi, he actually started the move last month. Foolish boy. Hero: I think that goes to the blue-eyed superstar DJ Alguerserious. Finishing 7th means you've only been bettered by Ferrari, McLaren and Red Bull. And he did it in a Toro Rosso. Nice work! Now, turn that racket down. Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was Herr DoublePointyfinger, with a stout 27 points. The top 3 drivers so far are Vettel, Button and...

RIP Dan Wheldon 

Odd one, the Korean GP, isn't it? Good track, which the drivers seem to like, but the place just looks deserted. I guess that's what happens when you drop a GP track in the middle of nowhere and hope people will turn up. Or maybe it was the absence of EJ from the BBC team - I hear he's banned as his shirts incite capitalist yearnings. Once again, practice made it seem likely that someone other than a Red Bull would be on pole. This time it was actually true, though. It certainly looked like Lewis Hamilton, but the strange, subdued, non-smiling chap that got out of the car and proceeded to display little in the way of emotion throughout interviews afterwards seemed pretty far removed from the Hamilton we normally see. This one was the F1 equivalent of Windows Safe Mode - it worked, but with a lot of the functionality removed... but also the errors. Hail RoboHamilton! HamBot got away well from the grid too, but was robbed of the lead by Vettel within a couple of cor...

Greetings. I am RoboHamilton. I look like Hamilton. I drive like Hamilton (but without the silly accidents). I talk like Hamilton (but without the sulking and att-e-choood). I have no joyful emotions. I am unfamiliar with the concept of smiling. I am, however, capable of finishing races on the podium. Oh, and I don't have that silly chinstrap beard. What's that all about anyway?! So... other than the looks.... I'm nothing like Hamilton, am I? #robofail (Score calculation accompanied tonight by Toris Amos - yes, I am still on the letter A - and her '99 album "To Venus And Back".)

It's Tuesday, Tuesday, gotta get down on Tuesday! Or perhaps not. Whilst Herr Doublepointyfinger recovers from a massive hangover and some choice karaoke, we have the small matter of some random facts and stats to round up. Starting off with... driver and team stats! Naughty corner: Yes, you've guessed it. My vote yet again goes to trouble-magnet extraordinaire, Lewis Hamilton. A dozy moment in quali, then a careless moment in the race. With Massa. Again. Plank. Hero: Seb doesn't need any other prizes, so I'm handing this one to Rosberg, who quietly sneaked up from 23rd on the grid to 10th. Tidy. Bad news this race for Heather, as she adds herself to the worst 3 scores of the year for a second time, with a tiddly 6 points. Fantasy Formula 1 drivers of the day were Button and Rosberg, who both scored 27 points. The top 3 drivers so far are Vettel on 337, Button with 260 and Alonso on 246. Quick Nick is still 8th! The top 3 teams so far are Re...

Just a little question; If Mr Pointyfinger (now know as Mr DoublePointyfinger) were to bag a 3rd title next year, what will he stick in the air? Or shouldn't I go there (both championship and appendage-wise)? As F1 landed in Japan, it seemed more definite that Seb would bag the title than the terrifying certainty that watching the X-Factor lowers your (already dangerously low) IQ. To be fair, it had seemed pretty much a forgone conclusion since about June. Still, the practice sessions seemed to suggest that he might not get to win the race, so there was cause for minor optimism. Rosberg got to sit in the car a lot on Saturday, but without the benefit of actually being able to drive it anywhere thanks to a hydraulics problem, so his grid slot was number 23. I'm guessing he didn't know the numbers went that high. Meanwhile, Lewis was busy turning the strength on his trouble magnet up to full and managed to go slowly enough on his last-gasp out lap at the end of Q3 th...

So, well done Mr double-pointyfinger. 2nd championship in the bag, and still 4 races left too. That nice Mr Button showed you up a bit today though, didn't he? Maybe that chop you did on him at the start annoyed him and got his ire up a bit. Whilst Seb wanders off with the title, in Fantasy Formula 1 land it's still very much game on for the title. Talking of which, here's what you all scored (that grinding noise is my teeth, by the way)... And here's that running total. I say running... looks like I've started crawling. Bah. (Continuing my alphabetical journey through my CD collection, I'm STILL on the letter 'A', and am currently listening to Alisha's Attic's 2001 album "The House We Built".)