Last time I did a race review, you needed a tea-break part way through it was so long, and I needed finger massage after to ease the numbness. After a season of excitement, and the most thrilling race for a couple of years in Canada, hopes weren't high for Valencia. Remarkably, it managed to be even duller than anticipated.
At a circuit that featured one exciting event last year when Webber successfully changed down-under into up-above and was otherwise a snooze-fest of epic proportions, it was hoped that regulation changes, DRS, tricky tyres and a software crack-down might liven things up a bit.
It did. A bit. But only a bit. To be fair, Vettel's dominance isn't helping matters any, and he was once again on pole, with Webber 2nd, Hamilton 3rd with Alonso and Massa behind, trailed by a disappointed Button.
At the start, Seb nipped off into the metaphorical sunset, whilst Rosberg managed a fine start from 7th. Button made a great pass on Britney on Lap 6 and his team-mate made the first pot-stop of the front-runners on Lap 13.
Alsonso nailed Webber for 2nd place on lap 21, whilst Perez was having a dismal time on his one-stop strategy.
Schumi got it very wrong coming out of the pits and Petrov simply drove over his front wing, forcing Michael into 2 pit-stops in as many laps.
By mid race Vettel, Webber and Alonso were all running closely and very evenly matched, but Seb plainly had it all in hand, with Webber's luck deciding there were more interesting things to be doing elsewhere, and deserting him over the last few laps as he was told to short shift as he gearbox started to fall apart.
Seb put is some fast laps at the end, just to rub in how dominant he currently is, a finished where he started, with Alonso and Webber joining him on the podium.
Strangely, whilst much dullness abounded, and every single car that started the race finished it (although Karthikeyan probably didn't make full distance until Monday), Alguersuari manage to haul himself up from 18th to 8th, by far the biggest move up the field of the whole grid. Only 5 other cars finished higher than their grid position too, just to highlight the spectacular dullness of it all.
So Seb becomes the first driver ever to be 1st or 2nd in the first 8 races of a season. It's impressive, but unfortunately not very exciting. He could even not bother to show up for the next 3 races and still be in the lead of the championship.
Ah well. Pretend him and his singular digit aren't really here, and see who wind the runner-up booby prize. And hope that the British GP makes up for the Spanish snoozefest.
(Spot of ancient vinyl tonight - a compilation on the Super Beeb label from '77 - "20 Golden Great's From Radio 1's Tony Blackburn Show". I'm so cool, bits of me are starting to freeze.)
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