Chinese Grand Prix - Hamilton in "looking cheerful" shock!

Before this race, I predicted that Vettel would win, Webber would stick it in a gravel trap and that the Safety Car would get it's first outing of the year. Still, nought out of three is... Yeah, you're right. Utter crap. One thing I can say with confidence though - what a great race the 2011 Chinese Grand Prix was!

Qualifying turned out to be a shocker for Webber in a season where, after just 2 races, things already looked to be going badly for the man you'd least like to admit to that you'd just scratched his car. I've seen that look before - someone usually loses a limb when someone looks that annoyed. After yet more KERS issues and a dopey decision to run on the harder tyres, he was out in Q1.

A good example of the argument that says you shouldn't put both you drivers out at the same time then caused Heidfeld's untimely departure in Q2. His team-mate, "Areroflot" Petrov conked out after putting in a great lap, and left everyone else with just 2 minutes of running time. Heidfeld had been out on his only run, and the ensuing M25-style traffic saw him only manage a 16th place grid slot.

Vettel bagged pole once more, and Hamilton's comment to him afterwards of "Too easy, man!" summed it up. The fact that it makes Lewis sound like he's just walked out of a 70's slacker movie is an argument for another day. Crazy, dude. Button did well for 2nd, and hep-cat Hamilton seemed unbearably smug about the fact that he'd managed to save a set of tyres. Sunday was to prove him right though, annoyingly...

It's fair to say that, were I to attempt to cover everything that happened in the race, you'd still be reading this by the time of the Turkish GP in three weeks, so I'll go for a BBC-style flashy highlights montage, with jaunty camera angles, flickery imagery and a bangin' tune. So, if you'll kindly imagine Bucks Fizz's "Making Your Mind Up", I'll get started.

Hamilton was lucky to make the grid at all, after a flooded engine and some mild panic from his mechanics in the pit lane meant his engine wouldn't fire up just as he rather needed to be heading out to the grid. He made it - just - and the start saw Vettel unusually get a poor launch, letting the McLaren's blast past. Webber immediately struggled on hard tyres, and looked set for a dismal afternoon. Little did we know...

Alguerasaurus became the only retiree of the race when one of his wheels departed early, and Button, Hamilton and Vettel raced in close formation for 15 laps or so. Eventually, Jenson and Seb pitted at the same time, only for Button to have a senior moment, and drive into the Red Bull box. The bit where he said "hello dearie" before realising his error, meant he had to move forward into his own box, but by then Seb was done and off ahead of him.

Rosberg was suddenly leading after an early stop when Hamilton came in (Probably saying "Oh, please sir! I saved some new tyres! May I have them now! Aren't I clever!), and Massa got a look in at the front too, as varying tyre strategies played out.

Hamilton really came alive in the second half of the race, and set about overtaking everyone, including a cheeky move on his befuddled team-mate (who was still trying to remember if he turned the iron off before he left). As Vettel's tyres faded, Lewis got him too for the lead.

Even more impressive than Lewis was Webber. Once on sensible tyres, he took off. KERS-free, he still managed to overtake just about everyone, eventually nailing Button for 3rd.

And so it was that I got it entirely wrong, Hamilton won from Vettel and Webber and everyone lived happily ever after. Especially Lotus, whose driver Trulli's fastest lap was quicker than Alonso's, and Kovaleinen beat two other teams' cars in a straight scrap, the smiley Finn beating Perez and Maldonado.

A great race, then. At least we don't have to get up so damn early for the next one ;-)

(More Tangerine Dream for this bit of freeform nonsense - "Tangines Scales".)

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