grumpyf1

It all looked really rather spiffing on Saturday. Webber claimed his 3rd pole-position in a row, and in the process continued Red Bull's impressive record of scoring every pole so far this season. Whilst the McLaren's were clearly fast, Ferrari were nowhere, with Alonso not even making the top ten in the marque's 800th GP. Martin Brundle describing him as a "miserable little so-and-so to interview" probably didn't help his mood much either. With the race underway, Webber got a great start and Vettel managed to jump Hamilton, if only for a couple of laps. Whilst the Red Bull's and McLaren's then pulled away from the rest of the field (but rarely had a gap bigger than a few seconds between them) it started to look like a fairly unspectacular race. By lap 10, the top 9 drivers were exactly where they started on the grid. Just at the attention span started to dwindle, the ominous cloud in the background suddenly became ominous and fabulous at the same time...

Chuffin' Nora! Did ANYONE see that little lot coming?! Ashes To Ashes finished on Friday with a jaw-dropping finale in which... *sob* the Audi Quattro got killed. (Trembling lip here. Snuffle.) Nuts to Lost - this was an epic bit of finale television. Unless you've seen it (or it's predecessor, Life On Mars) it's about a detective who (for Alex Drake at least) got shot and wakes up in the early '80s. If the nostalgia didn't do it for you, the time-travel bit didn't either, then surely the brilliant, arsey, sexist, grumpy, beligerent Gene Hunt must have. Long story short (look away now if you haven't seen it yet!)... Alex is dead. Only she didn't know it. Jim was... er... an emissary of the devil(?) Sent to tempt Gene's crew to hell, Gene's loyal team were all in fact from different era's and were also all dead (but didn't know it), Gene hinself could be St Peter, helping lost souls to cross over, except maybe the barman at the ghostly...

9 hours in a minibus. This was my view. Still, at least I didn't have to try and run 26 miles! Well done to everyone taking part and all those organising the race. Top job all round. A special hello to the young couple from Manchester who were last over the line after some assistance from the Sweep Minibus - some plasters, chocolate eclairs a fleece and a helping shoulder to lean on and they made the last couple of miles to a fantastic reception from all those still on site at nearly 6pm. Bless you all. Hello too to the previous back markers: Penguin Man, Two fat ladies (you were great!), and old fella. You were all stars. I'm sure my chauffeur for the day didn't mind the pooey shoe really... Sierra Mobile out. (A great-big 4CD Complete Introduction To Motown is playing some Jimmy Ruffin. Smooooth.)

It doesn't matter if it's dry or wet, who's on pole, who's quick or what your talent level is (in some cases, not vey high) - Monaco nearly always provides a great race. 2010 didn't disappoint either. In qualifying a dejected Alonso sat it out after pranging his car big time in the morning, whilst Webber put in a stunning lap (missed by the TV coverage - d'oh) to claim Red Bull's 6th pole of the season. Bob K was a surprising 2nd and Vettel only managed 3rd. Pretty much straight away the race got exciting as Vettel sneaked past Kubica, followed minutes later by Hulkberg inspecting the barriers a little too closely in his Williams in the tunnel. Button has an unwanted extra in his McLaren leading to an overheated engine. It was Barrichello's turn later in the race with a crash so fast and violent it made you jump in your seat. Assumingly it got his attention too. Another safety car period ensued, and a 3rd was caused by an drain cover wanting some attenti...

Good luck to everyone running the Brathay Winderemere Marathon this coming Sunday 16th of May. You are all quite, quite mad, but I wish you every success and hope you have a great day. If you're swinging by to register on Friday or Saturday, remember to say hello to the bloke with the goatee, won't you... Instead of watching the Monaco Grand Prix, I will be in a minibus, following the last runner around the course. If you see anyone wearing "10 in 10" gear, show them a shed-load of respect - they're running the course 10 days in a row, culminating in the 10th "lap" on the main Marathon day. The event raises money for Brathay, a charity for disadvantaged young people in communities around the UK. Go to www.brathay.org.uk and see what they do... (Ah, David Bowie's 80's hits. Currently it's "Ashes To Ashes". Funk to Flunky, we know Major Tom's A Junkie...)

Wow. He made that look easy, didn't he? After dominating qualifying on Saturday, Webber managed to get a great start in the Spanish GP and avoid being overtaken by Vettel and assorted McLaren's and Ferrari's. He maintained a small margin until the first round of pit-stops, then gently eased away. No dramas. No mistakes. No problems. Easy win (if there ever really is such a thing in F1). Meanwhile, Vettel struggled with a pit stop problem that let Hamilton through into second, then brake issues that eventually led to the team telling him that the situation was "critical". He was heading for a disappointing 4th when Hamilton suffered a major tyre blowout and said "hello" to a tyre barrier, giving Alonso second and Seb 3rd. Jenson Button spent most of the race trying to overtake an improved Schumacher, but all things are relative. Improved merely meant better than in previous races, not better that most other drivers. Still, 4th is a bit more like the Micha...